As I am writing this on a beautiful Sunday morning while my two young children are still asleep, I can only hear the clicking of my fingers on the keyboard ….ahhh isn’t it peaceful? Sipping on my coffee and soaking up the quietness of the morning before my kiddos open their eyes beaming with energy, ready for yet another day.
We all know as busy moms, there are no days off and while this is the most incredible job in the world it is also the most exhausting. It can be hard to find time to recharge, do something just for you, and have that one on one time with your partner. Raising toddlers is a joyful but challenging phase in any family’s journey. With two little ones to care for, it’s easy for a marriage to take a back seat to the demands of parenthood. However, keeping your relationship strong is not only essential for your own well-being but also for the emotional health of your children. Here are some tips that I have found helpful over the last couple of years to help navigate the toddler years while nurturing your marriage.
1. Communicate Openly and Often
The demands of parenting can leave little room for deep conversations. Anytime my husband and I try to have a serious conversation, we are likely interrupted by a cute little human tugging at our ankles. Looking back on our wedding day, communication was in our vows and we know it is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. I always say to make it a priority to check in with your spouse regularly about how they’re feeling—both as a parent, partner, and a friend. A simple check in can go a long way even if you are busy at work, a text can make a world of difference!
- Tip: Set aside time each day to talk without interruptions. My husband and I practice this on our evening walks pushing the stroller. We try not to have our phones out and share how our days went or anything on our mind. We also like to talk about our goals, dreams, and future. This can also be a time that the two of you pray together. Just being out on a walk; the fresh air and vitamin D can make a huge impact on your day. I have personally noticed that doing this daily together and establishing it as a routine, we have strengthened our emotional connection overall and it has made us stronger as a unit. It also relaxes our little ones and we can have that valuable “one on one time.”
2. Schedule Time Together
Spontaneity might be a thing of the past, but planning time together is crucial when raising toddlers. I know that it is easier said than done, trust me. Whether it’s a weekly date night or just a coffee together while the kids nap, scheduling things a couple times a week helps you reconnect and enjoy each other’s company away from the stresses of parenting.
- Tip: Have a themed night, it could be date night at home! One of our favorite things is making dinner together, like pizza night! Have you tried the pizza dough from Trader Joes? Wowzer, add it to your list and make your own personal pizzas together, I promise it will be a hit!
3. Share the Load
The demands of raising young children can be overwhelming, especially for a mother. Sometimes the pile of laundry is daunting and you are trying to find the energy to even begin to tackle it. Sharing parenting responsibilities not only reduces stress but also fosters teamwork between you and your spouse. Be clear about dividing tasks, whether it’s bedtime routines, feeding, or managing tantrums. Switch it up, so one partner doesn’t get burnt out from specific tasks.
- Tip: Rotate responsibilities like bedtime or bath time, so both partners get a break is big in our household. If one of you handles early mornings, the other can take over in the evening. This also goes back to tip number one on communication. You must speak up, otherwise resentment can start and this can lead to other issues.
4. Support Each Other’s Parenting Styles
It’s common for partners to have slightly different approaches to parenting, we do at our house! I definitely think I am more of the disciplinary parent…husband is a softie 🙂 Food for thought, rather than seeing these differences as a conflict, view them as complementary. Support each other’s methods and avoid undermining your spouse in front of your children.
- Tip: If you have disagreements about parenting which is completely natural, try to discuss them privately. Coming to a compromise that respects both perspectives while keeping the children’s best interests in mind is the ultimate goal.
5. Prioritize Intimacy
With two toddlers running around, exhaustion is part of the package. Climbing into bed at the end of a long day, we even laugh and say, “We made it honey!” But physical and emotional intimacy are still important for maintaining a strong marital bond. While intimacy doesn’t always have to mean intercourse, finding ways to connect—whether through affection, conversation, or shared activities—can keep your relationship thriving.
- Tip: Try to make time for small gestures of affection, like holding hands, kissing, or a hug before bed. These small moments of connection can keep intimacy alive even when you’re tired. Anyone else beg their husband for a back massage after a long day, I know I do! That is my love language!
6. Laugh Together
The toddler years are filled with chaos, pure chaos but they also offer plenty of humorous moments. Finding time to laugh together, whether at the antics of your children or the ups and downs of parenting can lighten the mood and remind you not to take things too seriously. This is my favorite tip!
- Tip: Share funny stories from your day, simply a silly thing one of your kids did. Humor is a great stress reliever. Sometimes we just need to pause and enjoy the goofy things in life.
7. Be Patient and Forgive Quickly
Parenting young children can be stressful, and it’s easy for tempers to flare, especially when you’re both sleep-deprived. Remember that both you and your partner are doing your best. Practice patience and forgive quickly. I am always practicing patience, sometimes I can have a short fuse. Taking a deep breath and regrouping is something very simple but can help tremendously when both of your children are having a meltdown on the kitchen floor because you can’t prepare their dinner fast enough.
- Tip: TAKE.DEEP.BREATHS.
8. Seek Outside Help When Needed
It’s okay to admit that raising kids while keeping your marriage strong is tough. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to seek support. I live in Gilbert, Arizona and I started a mom walking group in my community. It has been such a blessing. I can’t tell you how many incredible women I have met on these walks. We have built a powerful support group. Sometimes, talking things through with someone outside the situation can help you gain perspective.
- Tip: See if there is a support group in your area. I also try to share tips on my instagram page: @letsstroll_ Finding a mom community can go a long way, I promise you won’t regret it. There are many mom walks and community support groups out there, you just have to find one that fits your schedule!
9. Celebrate Small Wins
Parenting young toddlers can feel like an endless cycle of feedings, diaper changes, and bedtime routines. Like that famous saying, the days seem long but the years go fast. This is all temporary and phases of our lives. It truly does go so quick, so definitely celebrate the small wins in day to day life! In between the chaos, there are countless small victories that deserve recognition—whether it’s surviving a tantrum-filled day or managing to sit down for five uninterrupted minutes together. Remember you and your partner are a team, stick together, pray together, and it will all be okay. Some days are harder than others, just remember YOU are a wonderful parent….not all days will be rainbows and butterflies.
- Tip: Take time to celebrate these small wins together. Acknowledge the hard work you’re BOTH putting in as parents and partners, and remind each other that you’re doing a great job. Sometimes this can go unnoticed, so I al1ways like to mention it as a friendly reminder 🙂
10. Don’t Lose Sight of “Us”
You made it to my final tip! Thank you for reading. Please share this with a mama that may need some words of encouragement. In the whirlwind of raising toddlers, it’s easy to forget that your relationship existed long before your kids came along. Ahhh reminiscing still about my honeymoon. My husband and I went on a week-long romantic vacation in Hawaii. That seems so long ago now, I know one day we will be able to adventure together again. Until then, remind yourselves of the things you enjoyed doing together before parenthood, and try to integrate some of those activities back into your lives.
- Tip: Reconnecting with your pre-parenthood selves can strengthen your bond in the present. So take a trip down memory lane together (tie this into at home pizza night!)
Raising young children is an intense yet rewarding experience. While it’s easy for your marriage to be pushed to the back burner, staying connected with your spouse is essential for a happy and healthy family life. By communicating openly, sharing responsibilities, and carving out time for each other, you can nurture both your marriage and your growing family. Thank you for reading and I hope some of this resonates with you! God Bless you and your family.
-Jenna Colossio
A little about jenna
“My name is Jenna Colossio. I was born in Chicago, Illinois but grew up in Mesa, Arizona. I graduated with my teaching degree as a young mother to my son Braxton, who is now sixteen. I am a Professor at Arizona State University and a Regional Account Manager for a distributor that sells components for military equipment. I am now married with two more young children, Jordan and Violet (ages two and one.) In my spare time I enjoy hiking and being outdoors. I never miss a day taking my kids to our local park. I created Let’s Stroll last Fall. It’s been such a blessing!”
Find Jenna on Instagram @letsstroll_
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