How to Handle Unmet Expectations in Marriage

If you’re like me, you came into marriage not realizing how many expectations you actually have for your marriage or for your spouse. You start to realize that you have expectations when you start getting disappointed when things don’t play out as you expected. When he doesn’t go to bed with you at night. When you two don’t eat dinner together. When words of affirmation aren’t being said all the time. When sweet gestures aren’t happening anymore. When you don’t have great date nights. When he isn’t spending as much time with God as he used to. When he’s not eating the best. When he’s not taking care of himself. When he’s not making the best choices with his time or with the finances.

We expect things to go a certain way and when they don’t, we feel unsatisfied and unhappy with the cards thrown at us, asking all the questions like, “why is this happening to me? Why does life have to be this way? Will this ever get better? Can’t he see how this affects me and our family?” The list goes on and on. Endless expectations lead to real disappointments.

So how do we stop expecting so much out of our spouse?

How do I stop feeling so disappointed all the time?

You may not like the answer to these questions.. I sure didn’t.. but it’s the only way to be set free and live an expectant free life where nothing, not even your spouse can disappoint you.

Are you ready?

The answer is… do you trust God? Do you really trust God? Do you believe God is big enough to fix your marriage? Do you believe God is big enough to change your husband? Do you believe God is big enough to provide for your family when bad choices are made? Do you believe God can bring your husband back to Him? Those are the questions we should be asking ourselves.

God is big enough. He’s big enough for whatever you’re facing. He’s big enough to help you let go of all the expectations you have and walk in freedom. He’s big enough to be whatever you need when your husband is not meeting that need.

If we change our perspective and trust that God is big enough, we can finally be set free from unmet expectations and disappointments that we face in our marriage.

Related post: How to respond when you experience heartache

Download what I call a trusting God notecard that has three questions to help keep your thoughts fixed on Jesus during any day to day trial you may face, whether in your marriage or life in general. We may not always think to ask ourselves the questions above, so having them in front of you or posted around you will keep these questions in your heart and on your mind. That way, you can be self-evaluating and reminding yourself of God’s faithfulness as you go throughout your day and face what that day has for you.

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