Letting Go of the Need to Control Others

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

Have you ever wanted someone to change so badly it hurts? A quality in your husband, an addiction within your friend, a family member not knowing Jesus, etc. Sometimes I wish I could take the wheel and make them see that what they are doing is not only hurting them, but it’s bringing pain to everyone else involved.

Unfortunately, I’m not God. Well, maybe I should say fortunately because if I were God, I wouldn’t have done even a quarter as good of a job as he has at being God.

The biggest challenge of craving control is admitting that we don’t have any control at all. Not in the situations we face and especially not in other people. As much as we’d like to play God in the lives of others, ultimately, we are faulty human beings and don’t know what’s truly best for them, even though we sure think we do.

I have to think that when I feel disappointed by the choices of others that God probably does too. And yet, he doesn’t control us. He gives us free choice to make whatever decision we want. And loves us even when we make the wrong choices! Then not only does he love us still, but he shows us so much grace and patience.

Instead of trying to control other people and their actions, what if we loved them no matter what choice they made and trusted God through that season? What if we were patient with that person in their difficult season and showed them grace through it all? What if we just loved them like Jesus? Would that make a difference? I believe so.

Do people respond better to judgment and nagging or to love and grace? The Lord’s love and mercy are what sets people free, so let us show that same love and compassion to others.

Prayer:

Lord, you see the desire I have to control the people around me. Please help me to see them as you see them and to show them your love and kindness through what they are going through. I admit that I think I know what’s best. But I trust and fully believe that you know what is truly best for them and you will continue to be present in their life and nudge them towards you and your will for their lives. Thank you, Lord, that you are a good God that can be trusted! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Related Posts: How to Handle Unmet Expectations in Marriage

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